I really hate it when reality invades my nice little dream world. You know the one. It's the world where I really look like the picture in my head and I can pick any clothes I want to off of the rack and they will fit. Any style, any size. It is a wonderful world that I love living in.
Today the bubble burst.
It was quite disheartening. It made me sad. I am pretty sure that I went through the stages of grief right there in the dressing room. I didn't actually break down and cry, but I really thought about it. As I was looking in the mirror, reality was seeping in and breaking the myth.
I SAW myself...truly saw myself.
On the one hand I wish I hadn't. But on the other hand I'm glad I did. Because, it gave me a new and urgent reason to get my butt off the couch and moving. Seriously moving.
Come tomorrow morning I am starting my new goal of exercising every day. I am not going to set myself up for failure by saying that I have to work out for 45 minutes every day, but I am going to purposely work out every day. I have an elliptical, a treadmill, a step bench, the Wii, more workout videos than I can count...I should be able to find something to do!
My goal is to lose 10 pounds in two weeks. Yup, you read that right. 10 pounds in two weeks. More if I can manage it the right way. My ultimate goal is 20+ pounds by June.
I want to be able to go on vacation and wear shorts with confidence. I want to wear a sundress and not worry about my arms showing.
I want...to be healthy.
So, here goes. I am choosing to live with the ugly reality that I see in the mirror. I know that that image is not who I am, it is not me. But it is what I look like. And I don't like it. But the only person that can do anything about it is me.
So I will.