ugh

So, I did not work out yesterday or today.  In fact today was spent on my butt pretty much all day.  There was a problem with a post I was writing and I couldn't get the html code to come out right when I was trying to email it to someone.

grrr

On top of that I got a medium caramel frappe for supper.  Not good for the expanding back end and widening waist.

But...

Steven asked me about working out so I feel the need to do it tomorrow! lol  I did drink all my water today and kept my portions in control yesterday and today.

Baby steps.  I guess.

Update

Well, this last week I did not do any more working out than running up and down the stairs fetching medicine and taking care of our 9yo after her surgery.  I have watched my eating but haven't had near enough water. 

Monday I am going to start working out again since the next surgery isn't until Friday morning. 

End of Week 1

Well, I worked out ever day this week except for Friday.  I didn't work out on Friday because I woke up with really bad cramps.  TMI?  probably but it's the truth. 

I have upped my water intake to 72oz or more a day and have cut my food intake by about half.  Now before you go getting worried, I am just having one serving at every meal.  I am not cutting out any meals or foods.  Just watching my portion sizes.

I don't think I have lost any weight this week due to water weight gain and bloating but that's alright.  I am feeling better just having exercised all week.

We have to be up to the surgery center at 6am on Monday so I don't think I will work out that day.  BUT, I am going to add Saturday in next week to make up for it. 

Back on track and working on staying there.

Day 2

We slept in today but I still made myself workout. I did the second day of The Shred.

I am totally sore! It hurts to go up and down the stairs and my back muscles are sore. I think my butt may fall off...lol

I am eating less and drinking more. Oh, that doesn't sound too good does it? heehee I got 72 oz in yesterday and am almost there today.

If I'm not careful this might become a habit again!

Wow that was hard

Well, I got up at 6:15 A.M. this morning. I so did not want to. I wanted to go back to sleep desperately. But then I rolled over and my fat rolls touched each other and I was reminded how my laziness got me to where I am now. FAT and UNHAPPY.

So, I hauled my sizeable hiney out of bed and got dressed. I laid my workout clothes beside the bed last night so I wouldn't have any excuses this morning. I took my meds, got some water, and went downstairs.

I woke up my oldest bc she said she wanted to do this with me. She only made it through the first 5-10 min.

BUT I MADE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH!!! I did have to stop a few times bc of muscle cramps-hypocalcemia-but I started again after a few seconds.

Am I glad I woke up waay too early? Not really and yeah. I love sleep and am not a morning person BUT I am overweight and out of shape so I NEED to work out.

I am sore already! roflol But I AM going to get up in the tomorrow morning and do it again.

Yeah me! How about you?

Okay, here we go

I am starting tomorrow with the Shred.  I am a little scared but I am going for it.  I am not going to do it on the weekends, though.  It is just too hard with family stuff and scheduling, so I am doing it 5 days a week. 

Wish me luck!

checking in and keepin' it real

I haven't started working out again, yet.  But I have tried to limit my food intake better.  I think more/better sleep is going to help as well.

My plan, goal, is to start exercising again on Monday morning.  I am going to start with just 30 min. I think.  I may go back to the Shred which is only 20 minutes and work up from there.

I am also going to up my water back up to the 72 oz that I had been doing.  I know that helped me before and it's just good for me. 

So, no changes yet other than a slight shift back to a healthier mental attitude. 

I can do this, right?

How about you, how was your week?

Wow and not in a good way

I would like to say that I can't believe that it has been so long since I have posted over here but I actually can.  Life has been crazy but good here.  I wish I could blame not working out and gaining weight on having a new little one in our house but I can't do that either.  She sleeps well and is on a great routine.  No problem there.

The problem lies within me.  I think I have given up.  I really want to lose weight and get in shape but just can't seem to get it done.  I hate the way I look and the way I feel but evidently not enough to do anything about it.

And lately I have to ask why even try.  When there are people that always have to point out the things that you either haven't done or haven't done well...why even try.  Ya know?

If you couldn't guess, I am not in a great place with this right now.  I am struggling and don't really have anyone to talk to about this in real life.  so I quietly go about the day hating myself for being so weak and fat.

I need some inspiration and some encouragement.  I need...something.  I just don't know what that is.