Ugh

I wish things in life were easy and handed to me on a plate.  No, really I do.  Especially losing weight and  getting fit.  I don't want to have to work at it.  I struggle with laziness and stick-to-itiveness.  Is that a word?  It is now.

I am really struggling and trying and struggling and trying.  But it's hard.

I am committed to taking it slowly and not putting unrealistic expectations on my body.  I will look at my body in light of Christ's love and sacrifice and I will focus on setting my heart and mind to following Christ and loving him more each day.

Not too bad?

Friday was filled with an incredibly long dentist appointment for me and a chiropractor appointment for my oldest.  I thought that my appt. was at 11am but after I woke up, got dressed in my workout clothes I looked at my calendar and saw that it was really at 9:45am.  No time for a work out. 

So, I thought I would do it after my appt.  I didn't realize that it was going to take that long.  My 11yo had a tummy bug and needed me to pick up some 7up from the store and that ate up more time.  This is not looking good.

Lunch was a bust, I had chinese food.  The helping was too big.  :(  I ended up laying down and fell asleep.  I awoke to the sound of my dh coming home early so he could take our oldest to the chiropractor.  That took and hour and a half and when I got home I had to make supper.

Ate too much for supper. 

No workout.

Not too good but it could have been worse.  I am not going to count it as a failure, just not as good as I want it to be.

Another successful day

This morning threatened to be another failure in the exercise arena, but I purposefully chose to do something.

I rode my bike.  I didn't think that after yesterday's ordeal that I could walk on the treadmill today.  I am still hurting everywhere!

So, I got out my new, shiny bike and rode FOUR MILES!! 

It felt amazing! 

I think I will be terribly sore tomorrow, but it is worth it. 

My eating was okay today.  Two doughnuts but other than that, good portion sizes and pretty good choices.  I consider that a success.  :)

A change of plans

This morning as my alarm was going off, I made a decision that is the key to why I am overweight.  I turned off the alarm, rolled over and went back to sleep.

grrr...

That does not help in my effort to get back in shape.  A couple of months ago, I was doing a great job.  But then we went on a mission trip and I just got too busy.

Wait, no.  That is not a good enough reason.

The real reason is I got too lazy.  That is the naked truth.

I hate being fat.  I truly do.  But sometimes I don't hate it enough to do anything about it.  and sometimes I don't love myself enough to do any better.

The day didn't end as badly as it started though.  The girls and I went on a walk/field trip/p.e. class and ended up walking 5.2 miles!  It took a very long time with a five year old, but we did it!

I even made pretty good food choices today with fairly good portion control.

No snacking tonight, just lots of water.  And no self-condemnation.

Beginning again

Yesterday, Monday, marked the start of my weight loss journey.  Again.  I have tried for too many years to get this done and keep ending up overweight and unhappy.

Now I am working on my heart and being happy with who I am.

That doesn't mean that I am not going to workout.  That has to happen.  But, I am going to eat less.  Really, I will.

I am also going to start exercising...again.  But not full out until after next week.  I had gall bladder surgery almost two weeks ago and haven't been cleared for more than just walking yet.

But, I am walking on the treadmill- a little each day.

What is my goal?  I want to lose 50lbs by this time next year.  On August 1, 2011 I want to weigh 50lbs less.

I can do this.  I am worth it.  I will not give up.