*embarrassed*

Did I say that I was back on the wagon?

I guess I only thought I was.  :(

I got in a pretty bad funk with my eating, exercise, and thoughts.  It was kind of ugly.  I wasn't very easy to be around. 

I hate it when I let Satan win like that.  He plants doubts and seeds of discontent and I let them fester and take root.  I know better.  Christ does not want that for my life.  He wants victory for me.  He wants me to have freedom and peace.

I want my life and body to be perfect.

Those two are probably never going to be joined in the way I want them to be. 

I am once again starting Couch to 5k and using My Fitness Pal.  I am taking my body as it is and accepting me.  Do I like the way I look?  Nope.  Am I going to change it?  I certainly hope so.  But, I am going to focus on my heart and my health.    (again)

yeah, I get off the wagon and on the wagon a lot but I'm a sinful beast that struggles daily with motivation and perseverance.  I want things to be perfect but am unwilling to do the work to get them there.  bleh that tasted bitter just to say it.  But, it's the truth.  Not one I'm proud of but the truth none-the-less. 

So, tomorrow I will be on Day 3 of Week 1, again.  This time it is going better.  I can really tell that I have progressed, even if only a little.  It makes me feel better! lol